Considering that I've been stuck on the sofa for a few days now (almost a week) and that even just sitting up for more than 20 minutes hurts my foot/leg/all sorts of bits, I believe I have been very very good in resisting all temptation for the evil ones I set for myself:
"Willpower! Ambition: no more milk if not in coffee, breakfast cereals, bread, cheese, sweets of any kind, pasta."
Fortunately butter had not been included.
So far, so good. I haven't had any of these. By breakfast cereals I meant wheat cereals, so I had one instance of oat cereals.
I have weighted myself yesterday, but I am sure the scales were wrong... I seemed to have gained 1.5 kilos compared to what I had when I started! However, I feel and look a little less puffy, so I'm sure that was probably the effect of the one evening (included in the intentions of my diet) where I had some lovely pasta and anchovies my husband prepared for my friend and me.Plus I was wearing clothes so I'm sure they were heavy too.
What I have noticed a sudden decrease of, is farts! Yes women fart too. However, since I stopped ingesting any kind of pasta, bread or wheat breakfast cereals, I haven't farted once! (at least, not noticeably). So that's good.
What else.
I sometimes get cravings for something sweet, some chocolate. But a couple of times I have fought these with yummy crackers with butter and Marmite, butter and raspberry conserve or butter and honey. Yes I like butter, sue me. Other times, I simply made myself a coffee (containing sugar and milk as per exception in plan) and it was fine.
More updates in a few days. I will now write a second post, about my day of divination yesterday. I do this sitting down at a desk for the first time, to test whether I can go to work tomorrow. So far, niggling pains here and there and I keep shifting feet around to better positions, but it seems manageable.
I am terrified of ligament damage: my thumb remained completely useless after a skiing accident during a holiday in Italy back in... argh! 1985. When I went back home to the Philippines the doctors there treated me with infrareds, to reduce any damage, but they said had I acted appropriately immediately afterwards I might have healed completely. As it was, they were just "patching up". Now my thumb is useless, I couldn't drive a Vespa (the gears are shifted by rolling the left-handle, and they weren't wimpy smooth clicks, they needed some strength and the ability to pull on the clutch (again with your hand, so you used your thumb to keep the handle still as you pulled on it. Impossible without a thumb) when I returned to live in Italy at the end of 1986, and that made me terribly sad.
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| (This by the way looks just like the Vespa of one of my (male) friends, and that looks just like something on the coast of Lago di Lecco e Como, near where I lived. They used to colour them, each Vespa was completely and utterly unique). |
So. I intend NOT to do my usual Jill idiocy of getting hurt or becoming ill and then as soon as I can possibly withstand it start doing stuff, cleaning, tidying, and working. This time I want to be seriously careful. Because this is the second time something like this happens to me.
The first was back in Yorkshire, when I had only just decided that hey! Running was amazing fun, I could feel the serotonin moving, it would be the cure for my mood swings AND for my weight problem!
Instead, after only a few days of running, I started to feel a sharp sharp pain, as though I had stepped on a nail. I checked but there was nothing, nothing there. After a few weeks, something started to seem to want to come out of the inside of my foot. Start with GP, podiatrist. Accusations of it being some sort of super wart, painful cutting round it to get it off, wonderment, puzzlement. All the while it still felt like something painful coming from the inside, but would they listen to me? Nope! Finally, after my insistence that it felt like a bone was sticking out, 2 years after the initial pain, I was sent to the specialist. A rheumatologist, who explained hypermobility syndrome to me, and told me that basically one of my bones from my toes had come out of its seat and was pushing down. No wonder it bloody hurt. So yes, me, the lover of long walks in the moors, and the wannabe runner, was going to have to face the fact that I had to build muscle, because my bones were useless, except it was a little difficult to build muscle if I could make no efforts. I needed to lose weight in order for my bones to sustain me with less effort, but that was going to be hard as I couldn't afford a gym and I could no longer run!
Anyhoo
This is the second time. Because just the day before I was thinking how pleasant it was to play Badminton with my boys in the park, and was considering tennis with an old friend, looking at expensiveness etc. I thought, yes, I could become active again! I could do more than just cycle to work and walk my dog (never far enough). And hello! The next day I crash my bike against a post and get very hurt.
So, uhm, is life trying to tell me something? I can hear old friends telling me "Yes, BE MORE CAREFUL!!!".
But I also thing there is an element of... I don't know. I won't say it. It's just weird. The past few years have been a constant wall against moving. Either for travel (I have given up being the one arranging ANY travel, it always goes wrong), for making any decisions regarding my/our life, for exercising, for starting an activity of my own. It's like I had spent all my chips for self-initiative, using them far above the average, and know I get to have no more. It's weird. Not distressing, just weird.
Right, now for that post about the tarot and divination!
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